When I decided that it might be fun to start a (pretentious) blog, I thought it might be helpful to document the process of going from a shitty job to a not so shitty job. The problem with that is that I couldn't write about quitting a job on the internet, when I hadn't actually told my boss I was quitting my job. So, I kept some mental notes, and here they are.
The day I decided to quit was a bad day. I've never gotten a huge amount of respect from anyone I work with, but that day I had gotten yelled at by a co-worker in a meeting, in front of my boss, because he didn't like the schedule I had written for the special education students this year. (Background info: sped. students have legal documents that follow them around saying how much time they get to spend with the sped. teacher or the para educator...ect. So their schedules are determined by when the sped. teacher or para can see them.) No one else in the room, including my boss, thought this was unprofessional, and instead decided the best course of action was to take a student out of the classes he was in where he was getting his supported minutes and put him in classes without that support. Which meant I had to rewrite his document (called an IEP) to reflect this teacher's hissy fit and not what was best for the student. (Not that you're reading this, but if you have a special needs student, you need to seriously question any changes in their schedule or services a teacher proposes.)
So that day I came home, had about 3 beers in less than an hour, and threw the "c" word around like candy at a parade. Everyone I worked with was a "c" that day as far as I was concerned. My husband came home from cross country practice and I told him that F this shit, I'm not going back to that school another year. Back then I said I wouldn't leave unless I already had another job lined up, but right now I'm leaving no matter what. If I don't I'll die from the stress--at least it feels like I will. And right now, I'm crossing my fingers that my husband gets a really good job so I can stay home and have lots of babies.
I thought that right after I made that decision I'd have an immense feeling of relief. That feeling never came. I did feel minor amounts of relief every time I saw a teacher short changing one of my students. Instead of gearing up for the huge fight I was about to have on my hands, I sat back, thought about how the administration was aware of the problem and wasn't doing anything about it, and washed my hands. It wasn't my problem anymore. The kids that wouldn't be ready for next year, didn't matter because I wouldn't be their teacher next year. And when everyone else gets ready to blame me, it wont matter because I'll be gone.
I'm not saying the kids aren't worth the fight. They are. It's just that I don't have any fight left.
The biggest change after that day was the headaches. I used to come home with a headache everyday. I had a stomachache for about 8 months straight once, as well (that makes for happy poops). I went from having a headache everyday, to having only three or four since that day in November. I still get angry about the way my students and I are treated, and I've seen some SERIOUS mistreatment of my students since November, but I wont get bent out of shape anymore. I can't fix my co-workers. I can't fix the administration. I can leave. And I am leaving.
Not that you're reading this, but have you ever left a shitty job?
Yes! I had a back stabbing boss named Vera Ison. She had no clue what she was doing. She hid in her office and did not do diddly. She was so OCD it interfered with her daily life. I turned in my resignation, she actually asked me how I could stand working with the patients especially going into their homes (I was a medical social worker working for a home health agency) When I tried to resend my resignation she told me I could not. Later I found out i up to a Flipping YEAR to come back. She also screwed me out of my grad school internship. BUT Karma rocks. Eventually she had to go into the field because everyone got laid off!
ReplyDeleteHang in there kiddo! It is going to get better.
Thanks. I quit this job in June, moved, and started a new job. I love the new place I work. No place is ever going to be perfect, but it is MUCH better than where I was.
ReplyDelete